i just want u to understand..
i just want u to feel the way i feel..
i’m longing to have u by my side..always..
to not see u..its killing me..
i love u..why is it so hard for u to understand..
comfort me..let me listen to ur sweet words..
just for a moment..
for today..
at least..
Yesterday, I went through my facebook and i saw the status ‘single’ from a friend of mine.
I was stunned for a while, never thought she would broke up with him after 7 years of relationship.
It must be hard on her. i guess. of course it is..
And it occurs to me to ask her..and i did.
After listening to her, it is even more difficult for me to understand what love is.
Very subjective and it is defined differently from each individual. I found it ‘complicated’.
Or maybe i’m the one who don’t understand what’s the meaning of love is..
If we are not happy with that person just because he is ignorant and insensitive, and we fake to be happy in front of him..after 7 years…because he is ignorant and insensitive..and finally we break up..i don’t see the point there..why doesn’t she confront him in the first place..what take her so long to realize..
Maybe she knows the guy won’t change..maybe even if she did tell him, he couldn’t even change himself for her..he couldn’t make her happy..and she realized that but he didn’t..even if he’s asking for a second chance she wont take it because she knows he won’t change..
I am not sure how people’s view about this, everyone sure does has their own..but for me..love isn’t just to play around (in this case, i dun say my friend is, she is very serious with her ex-bf), to leave when u find he’s not right for u..it needs enormous efforts to put on to make relationship works..communication is the key, but people always jump into conclusion, we should find someone better to suit us..i dunno how it works in marriage, but i’m pretty sure we all do know that there are certain points in our marriage/relationship life that it doesn’t work out like we want it to be..there are points we get bored with our partner, pissed off, etc. Its just what we called life.. just take a look at our parents..there are rocky pathways along their way. If everytime they find problem and they get divorce, this place would be like US/ other modern countries…where divorce has the highest prevalence..u see what i mean..sometimes we can’t change people like we want them to be..but we can change ourselves to react upon his action..
i’m still learning..and will always be..
correct me if im wrong. i can be stubborn sometimes but that doesn’t mean i dont want to learn..it needs more time than normal.
take care~
“While the murderous assault on Gaza continues, I notice there’s a briefing document on the website of the Israeli Embassy in London which has a lie in every line. The West’s mainstream media repeat them, and even the most senior TV and radio interviewers don’t bother to challenge them. The document is a transcript of Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni’s statement to the Israeli press dated 27 December 2008 – a day that will live in infamy. It is a perfect example of the falsehoods used to dupe not only us westerners but Israel’s own people. The statement shows how the regime’s view of itself is constructed on a web of dishonesty and self-delusion.” -Stuart Littlewood
• “Israeli citizens have been under the threat of daily attack from Gaza for years.”
Palestinians have been under harsh Israeli occupation for 60 years.
• “Only this week hundreds of missiles and mortars shells were fired at Israeli civilian communities.”
Only one in 500 Qassam rockets causes a fatality. How many thousands of Israeli bombs, missiles, rockets, grenades and tank-shells have been blasted into the crowded city and towns of the Gaza Strip by Israel’s high-tech weaponry?
• “Until now we have shown restraint. But today there is no other option than a military operation.”
The only legitimate option for Israel is to end the occupation and withdraw behind its 1967 border, as required under international law and UN resolution. Israel has been killing Palestinians at the rate of 8 to 1 since 2000, and children at the rate of nearly 12 to 1 (B’Tselem figures). This is somebody’s idea of restraint?
• “We need to protect our citizens from attack through a military response against the terror infrastructure in Gaza.”
Self defence is not a right exclusive to Israel. Palestinians have an equal right to protect their citizens from the terror tactics of Israel.
• “Israel left Gaza in order to create an opportunity for peace.”
Israel never left Gaza. It still occupies Gaza’s airspace and coastal waters and controls all entrances and exits.
• “In return, the Hamas terror organization took control of Gaza and is using its citizens as cover while it deliberately targets Israeli communities and denies any chance for peace.”
Hamas was voted into power as the legitimate government of Palestine. Israel chose not to accept the people’s choice, which amounted to a denial of their human rights, and immediately set about obliterating it.
• “We have tried everything to reach calm without using force. We agreed to a truce through Egypt that was violated by Hamas, which continued to target Israel, hold Gilad Shalit and build up its arms.”
Try talking. The Israelis’ ongoing siege and economic blockade, begun shortly after Hamas was elected early in 2006, was never going to generate calm. And why is Shalit considered more important than the 9,000 Palestinians abducted and held prisoner by Israel? As soon as a Hamas government was formed Israeli troops arrested 8 Hamas ministers and 20 other parliamentarians, making the work of government impossible.
• “Israel continues to act to prevent humanitarian crisis and to minimize harm to Palestinian civilians.”
Every agency operating in Gaza has warned of the deepening humanitarian crisis and protested about the starvation and suffering, especially of children many of whom show evidence of stunted growth.
• “The responsibility for harm to civilians lies with Hamas.”
Not according to the Fourth Geneva Convention.
• “Hamas is a terrorist organization, supported by Iran, that does not represent the legitimate national interests of the Palestinian people but a radical Islamist agenda that seeks to deny peace for the peoples of this region.”
Hamas was the popular choice of Palestinians at the last election. It is entitled under international law to take up arms against an illegal occupier and invader. If it is supported by Iran, so what? Israel receives mega-support from the U.S. When it comes to terror, it is Israel’s conduct which fits the U.S. definition of terrorism so perfectly – see Bush’s Executive Order 13224, Section 3 – http://www.treas.gov/offices/enforcement/ofac/programs/terror/terror.pdf
• “While confronting Hamas, Israel continues to believe in the two State solution and remains committed to negotiations with the legitimate Palestinian Authority in the context of the peace process, launched at Annapolis.”
Israel is busy establishing irreversible facts on the ground that make a viable Palestinian state impossible. As everyone knows, the regime has reneged on the peace process and carries on building illegal settlements and the illegal Wall, and demolishing Palestinian homes.
Months ago Hamas accepted a Palestinian state based on internationally recognized (pre-1967) borders, in accordance with UN resolutions, with full sovereignty and its capital in Jerusalem, but this has been ignored. Hamas also offered a 10-year truce, also ignored. Earlier, Arafat and the PLO recognized the State of Israel in the Oslo agreement but what good did it do? Today’s U.S.-backed, Fatah-controlled Palestinian Authority is not representative of the Palestinian people.
• “Israel expects the support and understanding of the international community, as it confronts terror, and advances the interest of all those who wish the forces of peace and co existence to determine the agenda of this region.”
Israel, next to the U.S., the biggest purveyor of terror in the region and only advances its own interests. It may get the support of Israel lobby stooges in other western governments but is rapidly earning the contempt of everybody else.
From a statement dated 22 December 2008:
• “Hamas, backed by Iran, has regularly stated its desire to see the complete destruction of Israel.”
Israel is itself a leading destroyer and currently engaged in trying to wipe out Hamas and the Gazans. Iran’s Ahmadinajad quoted the late Ayatollah Khomeini as saying that “this regime occupying Jerusalem must vanish from the page of time” – fair comment considering Jerusalem, with Bethlehem, was designated an ‘international city’ under the UN Partition Plan.
Israeli propaganda twisted the Iranian’s words to read “Israel must be wiped off the map”. Zionist sources and the manifestos of Israeli political parties have made it clear for a long time that Israel plans to wipe Palestine off the map, and every act and lie is directed towards that end.
• “Our fight is not with the people of Gaza; it is with the extremists of Hamas.”
Then why does the Israeli navy harass and fire on peaceable Gazan fishermen who are well within their own territorial waters? Why does Israel prevent Palestinian students from taking up places at foreign universities and block hospital spares, medicines, foodstuffs and foreign medics from entering Gaza?
Why has the Israeli navy just rammed a mercy vessel in international waters taking doctors and medicines to Gaza? Latest air-strikes have hit the Islamic University and the ministry of education. These are direct attacks on Gazan civil society and its infrastructure.
• “Hamas started this conflict, and it bears responsibility for any harm to civilians on either side.”
The conflict, started by Jewish terrorists, has been going on for 60 years, decades before Hamas came into being.
• “Israel’s only responsibility is to protect Israeli citizens.”
As the occupying power Israel has a duty to see that the people of the occupied territories come to no harm.
• “Just as Israel seeks to defend its civilian population, Hamas seeks to kill them.”
This reads far better the other way round: “Just as Hamas seeks to defend its civilian population, Israel seeks to kill them.”
• “Rocket attacks have continued for years and are now a daily occurrence. How long does the international community expect Israel will wait before defending itself against them?”
The rocket attacks will end when Israel ends the occupation and stops terrorizing its neighbours.
• “In the south of Israel, Israeli citizens live with air raid sirens sounding every day – sometimes every hour. Their situation is intolerable.”
Not half as intolerable as it is for the Gazans, who live in constant fear of air raids and re-invasion and are constantly under surveillance by armed drones which can fire missiles under computer control from an armchair in Israeli headquarters.
• “For years, the international community has turned a blind eye to this onslaught. Only when Israel seeks to stop the rockets do they take notice.”
For years the international community has turned a blind eye to Israel’s violations of international law and human rights, which is why the problem remains unsolved.
• “Hamas is not only the enemy of Israel – it is the enemy of every Palestinian who believes in peace.”
Israelis just can’t come to terms with the Palestinians’ democratic choice and are bent on obliterating it.
• “It is Hamas’ attacks – not Israel’s reactions – that destroy every opportunity we have for peace.”
The world has managed to work out by now that Israel doesn’t want peace until it has stolen all the land and water it needs to expand its racist state into a ‘Greater Israel’. It is well on the way to achieving this and won’t be thwarted.
• “Palestinian militants targeted by Israel are not just the enemies of the Israeli people; they are criminals under international law, and enemies of peace.”
Israel is in no position to preach international law.
• “What is collective punishment? ‘Collective punishment’ is a city – schools, hospitals, homes – civilians being bombarded every single day by rockets and mortars.”
Collective punishment is keeping a whole population bottled up under siege and blocking supplies and exports, smashing their infrastructure, wrecking their economy and starving their children. Trying to equate Sderot with what’s happening in the Gaza Strip is idiotic.
• “Today’s Middle East is divided between extremists and pragmatists. Hamas, backed by Iran, belongs to the extremists, who must be defeated for the sake of the future of the Middle East…. Israel’s primary goal is peace.”
Israel’s primary goal is the expansion of Israel by making the occupation of the West Bank permanent and bringing the Gazans to their knees.
The core issue in this struggle is the illegality of Israel’s brutal occupation. Israel goes to great lengths to avoid and suppress all mention of it and play-acts the pathetic victim. As the official statements (above) show, the strategy is to frame and define the situation in Israel’s own terms regardless of the truth.
It uses advanced propaganda skills, and the elaborate Israel lobby network, to persuade western politicians and media to accept Israel’s version of events (and even use Israel’s biased language) and not question its motives.
“I call on you not to hate because hate does not leave a space for a person to be fair and it makes you blind and closes all doors of thinking and keeps away one from balanced thinking and making the right choice. ” -saddam hussein
how much more blood needed to be shed for u to realise that the ummah needs u now more than ever…
God,
dun let me walk alone coz i can’t..
Dear,
i see the future before back my eyes. and i know it’s difficult. I’m not being a pessimist but i’m just too afraid to walk through it without anyone by my side to hold my hands tight. Its there..no far from me. A place that i called homeland was it really a home sweet home? A place that i knew i would spend the rest of my life there would it still be a place i wanted to live? Living life to the fullest is just a phrase people can make..beforehand i need to find safety and security from any harm that could make me die literally. I wanna run, far far away, keeping myself safe, not letting anyone hurting me. I wanna walk through life but i need the strength given by God, given by an angel that keeps my day shine brightly from any circumstances. Don’t let make walk alone coz u’ve seen that i cant. Take my hand, take me there, hold it tight, keep it right. .
together we can make it trough..or alone can i make it through..?
-be strong azra-
aku marah dengan israel
aku marah dengan amerika
kalau boleh jumpe terus dengan bush memang dah lame aku tampar2 muka dia.
kalo aku jumpe dgn org israel memang dh lame aku tumbuk2 badan die.
xtau camne nak gambarkan kemarahan aku terhadap orang yang tak tau langsung erti kemanusiaan. Org yang tak paham langsung erti kekejaman.
Kuasa besar takde guna. Tak matang, egoistic, terlalu ikut perasaan.
Memperlekehkan kehidupan rakyat2 palestine, be in their shoes and u shud know better!!
Kawan saya meng’forward’kan article di bawah ini kepada saya. Saya terpukul sebentar ketika membaca..membuatkan saya terasa mahu meng’copy paste’ di blog. Mungkin ramai di antara kalian yang sudah membaca, tetapi yang belum membaca marilah kite meluang masa untuk berfikir sejenak..
“Anta dah siap ke? Jom la ke kelas”, saya memanggil Munawwar untuk keluar bersama ke kelas.
Sebaik sahaja kami mahu melangkah keluar, pandangan kami terlekat ke kaca televisyen.
Pagi itu, Televisyen Israel (Yahudi) Channel 1 menyiarkan rancangan TV Pendidikan. Saya menonton suatu rancangan yang dirakam di sebuah nursery. Guru yang mengajar anak muridnya menyanyi dengan diiringi sebuah piano, menyanyikan lagu berikut:
“Makanan paling sedap daging orang Arab, minuman paling sedap darah orang Islam”
Ya, itulah yang saya baca pada subtitle rancangan tersebut.
Kanak-kanak semuda 3 dan 4 tahun, diajar menyanyikan lagu tersebut dengan penuh keceriaan dan kegembiraan.
Demi Allah, suara cikgu dan kanak-kanak itu masih segar di dalam ingatan saya, dan jika saya pandai melukis, saya masih mampu melakarkan di mana cikgu dan piano itu berada, dan bagaimana kanak-kanak itu mendendangkan “nasyid” mereka. Walaupun sudah tepat 10 tahun peristiwa itu berlaku (1996).
Sesungguhnya kanak-kanak Yahudi yang menjalani proses pembelajaran yang sama melakar ‘mesej cinta’ itu pada peluru dan bom yang bakal dihantar kepada penpal mereka di seberang sempadan (gambar nanti di update). Dari balik tembok, anak-anak Yahudi ini mengucapkan “salam” kepada rakan Palestin dan Lebanon mereka, moga dipanjangkan usia, bukan di dunia, tapi di alam kematian yang hitam.
Para ulama yang menyokong tindakan suicide bomber kebanyakannya membezakan di antara situasi Palestin dengan situasi bukan Palestin. Adalah tidak harus sama sekali pendekatan suicide bombing dilakukan di kawasan awam seperti di kota New York, London atau Istanbul.
Tetapi Palestin berbeza. Ia adalah medan perang dan di tengah-tengah medan perang tidak ada orang awam. Sama ada kamu sebahagian tentera Islam, atau tentera musuh. Maka jika Yahudi di Palestin tidak mahu diri mereka, kaum perempuan mereka, atau anak-anak mereka terbunuh, mereka mesti keluar dari medan perang. Bagi umat Islam di Palestin, sama ada mereka mati diletupkan dari jauh, atau lebih baik mereka mati meletupkan diri untuk meletupkan musuh. Itu sifirnya. Mungkin kita setuju atau mungkin tidak. Tetapi kita sukar untuk berkata banyak kerana mereka di Palestin itulah sebenarnya yang menderita dan tahu pahit getirnya hidup di medan tempur.
Mungkin sukar untuk dibayangkan hakikat kanak-kanak Yahudi sebagai sebahagian tentera mereka. Tetapi saya tidak lupa kepada program televisyen yang saya tonton, bahawa setiap anak Yahudi memang dididik seawal usia buaian untuk membesar menjadi Yahudi sejati. Sama ada kamu mahu menjadi doktor, jurutera, arkitek atau ‘Ustaz Rabai’, kamu adalah tentera Yahudi yang wajib mempertahankan bumi ‘Israel’ dari anjing Arab dan Islam!
Itulah semangat yang disuntik ke jiwa setiap Yahudi di bumi Palestin.
Anak kita bagaimana?
Menjawab soalan ini, saya teringat kepada apa yang telah diungkapkan oleh Abu al-Hasan Ali al-Nadawi di dalam bukunya Ila al-Islam Min Jadeed (Kembali Semula Kepada Islam). Di bawah tajuk “Antara Ilusi dan Realiti”(Bayna al-Soorah wa al-Haqiqah), al-Nadwi telah memberikan suatu analogi yang sangat baik untuk difikirkan bersama.
Al-Nadwi membayangkan bagaimana seorang pemimpin hebat yang telah mati, dikenang oleh pengikutnya dengan membina sebuah patung yang besar dan amat menyerupai rupa pemimpin itu semasa hayatnya. Tetapi pada suatu hari, seekor burung datang bertenggek di atas hidung “pemimpin”tersebut dan melepaskan najisnya. Patung yang besar dan gagah itu tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa terhadap burung yang kecil itu, walaupun di kaki patung itu terpahat nama seorang pemimpin yang semasa hidupnya digeruni kawan dan lawan.
Mengapakah keadaan itu boleh berlaku? Mengapakah pemimpin yang hebat itu terhina hanya oleh perilaku seekor burung yang kecil?
Al-Nadawi mengulas analogi ini dengan mengemukakan konsep ilusi versus realiti.
Patung itu walaupun besar, gagah dan hebat, malah mewakili peribadi seorang pemimpin yang agung semasa hidupnya, adalah hanya “seorang patung”. Ia hanya sebuah gambaran. Sebuah ilusi. Manakala burung tersebut, walaupun kecil dari segi saiznya, ia adalah burung yang hidup. Burung itu walaupun kecil, namun ia adalah realiti.
Sunnatullah telah menetapkan bahawa realiti sentiasa mengalahkan ilusi.
Beginilah perihalnya kita ketika berhadapan dengan musuh. Jika kita membaca al-Quran dan meneliti ayat-ayat tentang Nasrani, kita akan dapati bahawa orang-orang Kristian hari ini amat menepati watak mereka seperti yang digambarkan oleh al-Quran. Aqidah mereka yang mengelirukan, paderi mereka yang kuat makan duit, kebencian mereka terhadap orang-orang yang beriman dan sebagainya, semua keterangan teori al-Quran itu menepati realiti kaum Nasrani hari ini. Maka orang-orang Kristian hari ini adalah orang Kristian sejati. Mereka adalah realiti. Pertembungan kita terhadap mereka adalah pertembungan kita dengan sebuah realiti.
Jika kita membuka lembaran al-Quran dan mengkaji tentang Yahudi, maka kita akan dapati bahawa keterangan al-Quran tentang karakter Yahudi amat selaras. Kelakuan penakut mereka yang hanya membolehkan mereka menyerang di sebalik tembok, sifat takabbur, dendam kesumat terhadap orang-orang yang beriman, semuanya menepati realiti. Maka orang-orang Yahudi hari ini adalah orang Yahudi sejati. Pertembungan kita dengan Yahudi adalah pertembungan kita dengan sebuah realiti.
Namun, jika kita amati keterangan al-Quran tentang ciri-ciri orang Islam dan Mukmin, apakah hasil pengamatan kita itu?
Al-Quran menjelaskan bahawa orang-orang Mukmin itu bersaudara. Al-Quran juga menjelaskan bahawa orang Mukmin itu saling menjadi pembantu kepada Mukmin yang lain. Orang Mukmin bersatu padu berpegang dengan tali Allah, mereka tidak berpecah belah ketika mendirikan agama, mereka pengasih sesama mereka dan keras terhadap Kuffar dan pelbagai lagi senarai ciri Mukmin yang diterangkan oleh al-Quran.
Namun, perhatikanlah realiti umat Islam hari ini. Berapakah jarak di antara diri idaman mereka seperti yang digambarkan al-Quran, dengan diri sebenar mereka di dalam realiti kehidupan?
Berat untuk lidah kita mengungkapkannya, namun al-Nadawi turut sampai kepada kesimpulan yang sama. Umat Islam hari ini tidak seperti umat Islam yang digambarkan al-Quran. Kita ramai tetapi kita hanya sebuah ilusi, dan ilusi sentiasa dikalahkan oleh realiti!
Muslim ilusi berdepan dengan Kristian realiti.
Muslim ilusi berdepan dengan Yahudi realiti.
Realiti sentiasa mengalahkan ilusi.
Ramainya kita hanyalah sebuah ilusi. Hakikatnya kita sedikit, dan jumlah itu semakin sedikit apabila saudara-saudara kita berbondong-bondong murtad meninggalkan kita.
Kayanya kita hanyalah sebuah ilusi. Hakikatnya kita miskin. Kita miskin jiwa, miskin daya juang dan kemiskinan itu semakin miskin apabila saudara-saudara kita tidak mampu mengawal jual beli harta mereka sendiri yang selama ini mengkayakan musuh.
Cerdiknya kita hanyalah sebuah ilusi. Hakikatnya kita bodoh. Kita masih dibelenggu oleh persoalan-persoalan yang bodoh dan tidak langsung menghasilkan sebarang hasil. Kebodohan kita menjadi semakin bodoh apabila kita tenggelam dalam tajuk-tajuk debat sesama kita yang langsung tidak menggambarkan yang kita sedang berada di medan perang.
Bersatunya kita hanyalah sebuah ilusi. Hakikatnya kita berpecah. Hati-hati kita terlalu mudah untuk diungkaikan ikatannya hanya disebabkan oleh kuatnya dendam kesumat kita terhadap sesiapa sahaja yang tidak mengiyakan apa yang YA di sisi kita, dan menidakkan apa yang TIDAK di sisi kita. Penyakit hati kita sangat menjijikkan. Kita cekap mencari kelemahan orang lain, dan kita begitu berselera menjadikannya sebagai hidang ‘kari daging busuk’ santapan harian.
Ya, jika al-Quran yang menjadi pengukurnya, maka Yahudi di Palestin itu adalah realiti. Nasrani di Rumah Putih itu adalah realiti. Namun umat Islam yang mengelilingi Rumah Hitam di Masjidil Haram itu hanyalah ilusi. Dan ilusi akan terus dikalahkan oleh realiti.
Selagi kita tidak berusaha untuk membentuk diri menjadi Mukmin sejati, selagi itulah kita tidak akan diizinkan oleh Allah untuk melihat pembebasan Palestin dan Masjidil Aqsa. Bukankah Allah telah menjelaskan di dalam al-Quran:
“Jika kamu berbuat kebaikan, (maka faedah) kebaikan yang kamu lakukan adalah untuk diri kamu; dan jika kamu berbuat kejahatan, maka (kesannya yang buruk) berbalik kepada diri kamu juga. Oleh itu, apabila sampai masa janji (membalas perbuatan derhaka kamu) kali kedua, (Kami datangkan musuh-musuh kamu) untuk memuramkan muka kamu (dengan penghinaan dan keganasannya); dan untuk memasuki masjid (BaitulMaqdis) sebagaimana mereka telah memasukinya pada kali yang pertama; dan untuk menghancurkan apa sahaja yang mereka telah kuasai, dengan sehancur-hancurnya.” [Al-Israa’ 17: 7]
Ya, janji Allah itu benar. Kesudahan isu Palestin adalah kemenangan yang akan berpihak kepada umat Islam. Namun kemenangan itu adalah kemenangan bersyarat. Allah mensyaratkan bahawa gerombolan kemenangan kita yang bakal masuk ke bumi Palestin mestilah sebagaimana kumpulan umat Islam masuk buat pertama kalinya dulu. Renunglah ciri-ciri Rasulullah SAW dan sahabat. Renunglah ciri-ciri Umar dan tenteranya semasa masuk ke bumi Palestin dan ingatlah, selagi kita tidak masuk dengan cara kemasukan yang pertama, perjuangan kita hanya ilusi. Ilusi yang dengan mudah dapat dimusnahkan oleh sebuah realiti.
Ajarlah anak-anak kita siapa musuh mereka. Besarkanlah mereka agar menjadi mukmin sejati. Bersiap sedialah untuk menghantar anak-anak kita ke masa depan mereka yang jauh lebih mencabar. Ramai ibu bapa yang sudah berjaya menukar fitrah kanak-kanak itu sehingga mereka membesar sebagai Yahudi, Nasrani dan Majusi yang sejati. Sudahkah kita membesarkan anak-anak kita menjadi Mukmin yang realiti?
Keluarlah dari ilusi, dan jadilah Mukmin sejati. Kamu sedang disembelih oleh sebuah realiti.
ditulis oleh,
ABU SAIF @ www.saifulislam.com56000 Cheras, 14 Ogos 2006
P/S-semoga kita dapat bersama-sama memperbaiki diri dari semasa ke semasa…(setidak-tidaknya biar lambat asalkan sampai..wallahualam.)
Holiday starts from 25th dec till 4 jan. yeah my mood is still keep me going. =D
Back in msia, i was busy with my brother’s wedding. Extended families from far came over to help us out. They stayed in seremban for 3 days. Mum was really busy, she slept for only few hours. There were lots of things to clean up and re-arrange. Despite the busy’ness’ i could still find time to meet my bffs (i miss u gurls already. muah muah) and my friends back in seremban. The last day in msia, i went out with my sis, watched midnite movie. Laughed out loud, catched up some new stuffs, she asked me for money (lol) for her new phone (i thot she’d already forgotten about it). My flight was in the morning, i supposed to depart from seremban at 630am but eventually we got in the car at 7am. I forgot my phone, left in on my bed. I was thinking to reply iman’s msg i didnt get her baulu, kedai tutup, cuti am. huhu. That’s how i left it. Ok then finally reached KLIA at 815am. Checked in. yay Finally there. Say bye-bye to mum. Board in. Saw a pilot (dunno why, but this thought came across my mind: i think its not so difficult for gurls to get hooked with pilot. That’s a good thing. And a new a thing for me. I always thot pilot was kind of hard to get man, love pretty ladies, free-haired, damn hot. But maybe it isnt. They are just like us). So gurls, what are u waiting for?? =ppppp
Plane touched down, arrived at 1030am indonesia time. Go back to jogja, at home. Hi-hi, gembira2 seeing housemates kat jogja. Everyone asked how was msia. i said BESSTTT! smiled from ear to ear. Different view i felt in jogja, everyone was busy with thesis, i found them studying. Waaa..i was still not in the mood to study. I watched marathon movies..keep repeating over and over again, went out to amplaz, nongkrong (lepak) kat cafe, went to swim dgn toy, cikpah n iman pagi2 bute. =p, petang2 main basket. kak gym slept over my room, sleep with extended hours compensating my sleep time kat msia. hoho. N now here i am. Energized, but not ready to go to school or even to read a book. I am supposed to read a book of tropical disease but i end up writing a blog. Do some pour thingy. LOL. ohh..how i miss to have lots and lots of free times and just doing nothing beneficial. I miss u already holidays~!!! Cant wait to see ya another time soon. =D
Article taken from a website~ i found it useful.
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy — your soul mate — you’ll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn’t make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, “This is so not what I signed up for.”
Actually, it is. You just didn’t realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other’s faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that “for better and for worse” doesn’t kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. That’s when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It’s not him. It’s just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You’re learning that marriage isn’t a destination; it’s a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that’s better than any fairy tale.
2. You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, “Marriage takes work,” you assume “work” means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naivete, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths — and from where he sits, you’re pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn’t mean you’re done — it just means you’ve advanced to graduate-level studies. That’s because every time you think you’ve mastered the material, he’ll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
“It’s like losing weight,” says Andrea Harden, 45, of Buffalo, NY. “You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it’s a lifestyle. That’s marriage. The effort is a forever thing.” So don’t be too hard on yourself — or him — on those days when you feel like you’re struggling through remedial math.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds “Never go to bed angry” doesn’t know what it’s like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I’ve got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I’ve found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you’re angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you’re both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it.
4. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It’s really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It’s just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more “right” I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he’s right most of the time (go figure!). So we’d lock horns — often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband’s. “I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage,” says Lindy Vincent, 38, who lives in Minneapolis. “Now I see that I’m not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There’s more gray in life than I thought, and that’s taught me patience and the value of compromise.”
5. A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Genoveso and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it’s also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don’t just raise your voices; you raise real — sometimes buried — issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn’t give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won’t break us; they’ll only make us stronger.
6. You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us — something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we’re doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man — stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies — is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you’re lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
7. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.
There were clues when Genoveso and I were dating, especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, “I’ll call you at 8.” Then, just to try to trip me up, he’d call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn’t figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me — really and truly — this stuff wouldn’t happen.
I’d like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. After years of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the best sister a girl could ever have, I’ve come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I’ve had to examine my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage.
That’s the strange beauty of marriage: It’s full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together — and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.
Syncope's Blog 